Rantings...

posted under , , by Sudarshan J
This is just what the title proclaims it to be. Arbitrary ravings. I have a lot to rave and rant about. Who doesn't?

One of the main things bothering me this semester is acads. It bothers all of us, doesn't it? There is a difference though: This is the first semester where I feel I am not going to cup (or fail) in any course. In my previous 4 semesters, there has been at least one course where I felt I will surely cup, but I scraped through (Linear Algebra still gives me the jitters!). And this semester, I also have more than 95% attendance in all courses. The reason is not the new attendance rule, stupid as it might be. My department is in a corner of IITM, and our slots are usually one after the other. So, it is a pain to go there, bunk a class and come back all the way to the hostel.

Prof. Bhattacharya. Love him. No prof has used the word smart with me before. When it comes to adjectives and profs, the profs usually end up choosing the worst adjectives to describe me. This case was no different. He called me over-smart. For telling him that the answer is an approximate 0.9 (which was wrong, anyway!). When was the last time you had to write a leave letter? 10th standard in school might be the average answer. I was asked to write one, just because I bunked a class of his, the reason being a back sprain (Thanks a lot, mamme, for helping me with the format!!). Prof. Bhattacharya might fill up the entire blog, if I went on about him.

Prof. Surendran, Ph.D. Yokohoma, Japan. I see that on every handout he gives. I don't remember if he puts them on the question papers too. I always think of reminding him that every prof here is a Ph.D. A very nice prof, loves talking to his students. Laughs for anything but a joke, but keeps the class happy, and dazed. I don't understand whatever he teaches. I initially thought it was Korean, but later realized it was all Greek. Pains us a lot in the lab, but ends up giving ok marks. Gets excited at the thought of Korea, or Kochi. And he is one prof who makes even PK Nag (Thermodynamics) and RL Harrington (Marine Engineering) bed time story books. I doubt whether many profs could do that.

Toolie, my GenSec. Also known as Gandhi, mere Baap. A retarded individual who prefers reading yesterday's news today (Times of India!!). My best critic. Who else will have the audacity to wake me up on a fine Sunday morning to say that my sequel of the pseud putter blog "was an overkill, wasn't that great or funny!"?? Tells me whatever he wants to my face, knowing fully well that I could thrash him (I would hurt a fly rather than toolie!). Probably the best GenSec (I am expecting a treat for this!!) Tapti has ever had. Always on the lookout for them to break up, so that he could swoop in and sweep the lady off her legs. The swooping or the sweeping never has happened, and we doubt whether it will. Some say that he took up the cookery contest (yeah, you heard it right!!) coordship to impress the lady. Can someone please tell him that the saying is "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" and not the other way round? More light on him will be thrown in blogs to come.

Insti aka Vikram. My best friend for hundreds of miles. My live-in roommate for past some days. He claims that his girl scares the living daylights outta him. One of the main reasons why I was tagged gay in my first semester. And it's deja vu again!! Brainy chap. Eats very slow. You can have breakfast with him and then come back for lunch to see him finishing up his breakfast. Recently given the security coordship in Saarang. He looks anything but a security coord. Skinny, mental monkey, as someone describes him. He must have made more visits to a hospital than the Union Health Minister himself this year. Sources tell me that the doctors and the nurses miss him.

Ayush. I miss the vision, man. Shaastra and quizzes have kept him busy. I will blog the full vision speech someday.



Kannada, a lovely language. As I wasn't learning anything of value here, I thought I would go at least learn a few languages. Knowing Tamizh and Telugu is a big advantage when learning Kannada. But don't make mistakes, like the one I just made. I went and asked busty" Maga, snanagay Hogona??", which essentially translates to "Will you come to bathe with me??". I will be starting on "Learn Kannada in 30 days" after my quizzes end. Shall blog about the experiences soon.

KK. 15. I think he wants us all to call him 15. You see it on him most of the time. Step out of your room, and look towards KK's room, and within seconds, you will see him run out and grab the No. 15 and make a big show of dusting it. Make sure you are 2 rooms away when you see him do it, lest all the sweat from the jersey hit you. Yes, he's one of the best defenders the hostel is having and contending to be the Insti's best defender. Has Zukk!! fundaes about babes. But he is improving. Girls are known to talk to him from time to time. Has thinned down a lot since last semester, it might be due "to a rich asian girl (5)". IMDB is his lifeline, and till some months back, used to think he owned it. There was a simple test conducted. We asked him to name all his favorite movies. He rattled off the IMDB top 250. Then we asked him to go from bottom to top. He couldn't.


Condom. I think I ought to call him Condom(e). Has a shiny, bright, new head on his shoulders. Plays football with utmost cool. Lazy chap, he could have made in to the insti team if he tried his best. Has this new thing of sticking whatever poster he gets in his room. Has the most virus-infected comp in the wing. His definition of cool varies like a sine-curve. So, you find him affable and friendly one day, and rude and nasty the next day. Loves the mess food, eats it with great gusto. Babes? He's the right person to catch. Fundaes on babes?? KK is better.



Watch this space for more...




posted under , , by Sudarshan J
Paining people...

... is an art, a gift. You can't learn how to pain people. You are born a pain God, or you aren't. There is no gray area. Many of the world's greatest are pain gods! From great poets, novelists, writers, lyricists to economists, physicists and even many of the Nobel Prize winners, there have been people who were regarded as pain gawds of their times. And some of them are so difficult to emulate, that no one now can come close to them. You must be wondering who all these great people are. Go find out!!


See, that is exactly how to pain people. Wait, there's more.


Actually, there's no more to that. Let's move on, shall we??


So, if there is no way you can learn how to pain people, why this blog? The reasons are fourfold:

1) To pain you.

2) To pain you.

3) To pain you.


Aren't you bored already?? Pained?? Unable to read on?? I know that you will read on, so here's more.


Actually, there is no more. That's all is there to it.


Gotcha!! So, read on.


To pain someone, you needn't know him or her. Experience tells me that it is easier to pain a girl than a guy. There are numerous ways one can pain a girl. To pain a guy, you need to know a little more about him to pick up the relevant topics and pain him. To pain a girl, any topic will do. Like for instance, I asked a girl (for which I am sorry, now!) whether she was committed or not. Off the hand, that might seem a very harmless question. But here's the catch: I didn't know who she was, I was talking to her for the very first time, and that was my 3rd or 4th line to her, as far as I remember. We kept arguing back and forth, me always having the edge over her (girls tend to speak or even argue less about anything to strangers.) till I had to sign into my account from the account (my friend's) I was talking to her on.


So, why did she shout at me? It was such a harmless question. She could have rather answered it than argue with me about the legitimacy of such a question. Here, we are delving deeper into the psychological behavior of women, on which I will blog someday. So, lets pass on that.


Now, paining men proves to be little difficult. First of all, men don't talk to men they don't know, online. So, the chances that you might get a guy who is a sitting duck out there are very low. In that case, the only ones you pain are the ones you know. Now, the ones you know, already know that you pain people. So, there is much more resistance and even if men get pained, they don't accept it as easily as a women do (showing signs of anger is acceptance, ladies!!). So, how do you pain a man? You need to take up sensitive topics. By sensitive topics, I don't mean his sister. Now, that would be a very wrong thing to do and you might end up 6 feet under. So, what kind of topics are we looking at??

For instance, lets take flight tickets. You tell a guy that there is no way you could get a flight ticket that cheap. He gets riled up, talks about how he flew to his place with much lesser fare than that. Then you argue with him telling that things are changing and that he needs to keep up with the world. He starts quoting prices each airline offers, and then you tell him that it ain't possible, or else the airline will go bankrupt. Then he puts a bet on the question, and asks you to place your bet. You say you have nothing to prove, so you won't bet. He has to prove his words, so let him show (you also keep adding that there is no way the price could be that low..). He starts cursing you, and the conversation shifts to your sister (Here, you can start about his sister. Be quick, before he graduates to someone else!). Then, you see him sitting on his computer, lashing out his fingers on the keyboard and going to various sites. In the meantime, you can hear him shout at the web page owner's sister, the net connection being too slow. You sit coolly, and keep muttering things like "Hey, India's GDP will go down if that is the case...", "Do you think they are fools to offer you flight travel at such low rates??", "Manchester United lost to Blackburn Rovers..". Now, that last sentence catches his ears and he turns to you, forgetting about the airline tickets. You start about the match enthusiastically, make up goals, bicycle kicks, et al and by the time you are finished, he would have forgotten all about the airline tickets. Now, someone walks in, as you finish the recital. You stand up, wave him goodbye, and as you go out, tell him "Hey, don't feel bad about the airline tickets man. We all forget sometimes. Nice that you accepted that the prices aren't that low. And I don't want the money you bet. It's between friends, what say??".

Now, it would really help if the person who came in last was there earlier when you started the argument. Cool it, you don't need to rush out from the room. He won't have any enthusiasm to argue now. But don't linger around too much.


I know what you are thinking. This blog is too much of a pain, or rather, boring. What the hell is this guy writing about? But you do know what I am doing, right?

So, what all do people usually get pained for? It depends on each individual, actually. Some people get pained for the easiest and the silliest of reasons, and some, like me, are very tough to pain. Yes, I am tough to pain. I might have used the words "Don't pain me" a million times, but I was just being considerate. If things go above a certain level, I can't stop myself from paining you, neither can you. But this blog is not about me, is it?? Lets go back to the topic.


Or shall we stop? You think this is enough? Getting bored, aren't you?? Some of you might even come up to me and ask me what kind of a stupid blog this is. But we both know that it ain't stupid. It's just that you got pained.


I have got lots more to say, but lets see whether you can finish reading this blog or not. Here's a small quiz -

1) How many times have I used pain or variations of pain in this post?

2) At how many points while reading this post, were you actually going to press the cancel button?

3) For this post, I have given the option of anonymous commenting. So, comment all you want, and try paining me.

4) When did Blackburn Rovers defeat Manchester United and by how much?? (They did. Google it out.)

5) How many reasons did I give for writing this post?

6) Why did I write this post?

The last question will be used as a tiebreaker question, so be nice to me. The winner will get one month's free material on Pain 101 - An introduction on how to pain people.










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