This is an interview with Wool (Name changed to protect the victim's identity), a person who takes care of the overall hygiene of the hostel, a person who tries to look important (can someone tell him that holding a phenol bottle in one hand and a broom in the other is not going to make him look professional??) and does work related to the quadrangle lights, bathrooms, eliminating mosquitoes from the hostel, and licking the warden's ass whenever he sets foot into the hostel. In short, my GenSec. Woolie, my Gensec.

A pained Hosteler (pH) - Wool, it's a pleasure meeting you. I am very happy to have got this opportunity to talk to you regarding your term as the GenSec of Tripti Hostel. Finally, junta will be getting to know the real Wool.

Wool (W) - Oh, hi!! It's a pleasure to talk to you too. I am a person who doesn't like much publicity and I often like to work behind the scenes. I have a request to make. Can I have a separate session with the photographer, as I have been practicing various poses and would like to try them out?

pH - Surely, Wool. But only after the interview. Now, our readers wish to know why you insist on being referred to as Mr. GenSec?

W - Sounds nice, doesn't it? And it also adds a certain punch. My post demands that authority and respect from junta. When the SportSec can have a cool sounding name like The Bhision, I figured why not I have something of that sort too?

pH - Okay. But doesn't it sound too pompous??

W - Come on, let me have a cool sounding name at least, if not a cool job.

pH - On to our next question Wool, why did you decide to run for the post of GenSec?

W - Oh, this was the only post where you required nothing but infinite knowledge and wisdom about shit.

pH - Were there any critical decisions that you had to take, till now?

W - Oh yes...

pH - Go on please. Could you please elaborate the situation and the steps you took?

W - Yeah, I am thinking about that. Mmmmm... er... once, there was no water in the hostel. I asked junta to wait till the next day, and lo and behold, there was water.

pH - Er... Could you talk of a real problem please?

W - Yes, one day, the housekeeping guy did a real bad job of cleaning the corridors. I called a meeting with the housekeeping guys, and had a brainstorming session with them and we all reached a decision, which was appreciated by all and sundry.

pH - Which was...?

W - That the guy who cleans the corridors should clean it with more concentration.

pH - What about the quadrangle lights, Wool? What steps have you taken to ensure that they are put up soon?

W - Whenever the engineer comes, I give him The Job and tell him what I expect from him. But looks like giving him The Job is not working. Wing junta are behind my balls now.

pH - We received some rumors about an Ant Attack you recently had to endure. Are they true?

W - Yes indeed!! I had a very harrowing time.

pH - Could you tell us what happened please?

W - I had my management examination, and I woke up rather late for it. I had to rush, and I took off a trouser at random and wore it. After some time, I experienced an itching sensation near my ****** (beep) area, and it worsened while in the exam hall.

pH - So, how did the exam go, Wool??

W - Ever have an army of ants attack you? Hordes and hordes of them??

pH - Er... no. So, essentially, you got raped by a gang of ants. What do you think they were after?

W - I would have to say that they were behind my Laddoos. Little did they know that they are no longer there. (Laughs)

pH - Oh, so, the wing junta are not the only one after your.... er... Laddoos, you call em??

W - I think that would be it for now. I have an emergency to attend to. Some dustbins have been overturned by some monkeys, and I have to set em right.

pH - Ok. Thanks a lot for your time, Wool. We wish you success on all your endeavors. One final question. Are you planning to run for the elections again?

W - Haha!! Keep guessing.