Statutory warning: The following is performed only by experts and the methods should never be tried by anyone else.


For all those not enthused by the magical word of Harry Potter, the title translates to "Never poke a sleeping dragon". To face an IITan's ire, you don't need to rile him up, or sound off heavy dialogues, or challenge him to do the impossible. Where strong words don't stoke fire, waking him up from sleep does. Here are some things an IITan hopes he never wakes up to (not in any order)...

- Classes. This is a classic case of hoping against hope. For all those who are not shackled by the attendance rule, you might not know what I am talking about.

- ID - Industrial Design. Looking up at Prof. Raghuprakash's or Prof. Susie Verghese's face and listening to them drone about an ecologically efficient pen early in the day is not how you want to start it off.

- Grub at mess. Need I say more??

- Message from your Class Rep announcing that the afternoon class has been advanced to the first hour.

- For those without cycles, the walk to your respective departments, and being shunned by people (with cycles) you thought were friends.

- For those with cycles, the eternal fear that someone might ask you for a lift which makes you look at your front tire while you ride.

- Finding out that there is not a drop of water in the hostel to perform your daily ablutions.

- Waking up, and finding that you have missed the quiz.

- A message from a Muggu asking you "Whether the sum given in the class yesterday is to be solved by the unitary or non-unitary Fourier transform?"

- Another message from the same guy telling you that he has solved by both ways, but the 3rd decimal doesn't match in the answers.

- A call from your father's colleague's wife's cousin's colleague, who wishes to talk to you about his son's preparation for JEE.

- Himesh Reshammiya's "voice".

- A guy imitating Himesh Reshammiya.

- A freshie asking you to put Branch Change fundaes.

- The same freshie asking you about job prospects after the 4th year.

- A Gtalk ping, asking you whether you are crashing, when your status message proclaims exactly that.

- An arbit guy, whom you have never seen before or heard of before, asking you to vote for him as the Insti GenSec.

- A freshie asking you for his cycle keys, which you took about a week back.

- The same freshie coming back in 5 minutes to ask you where the cycle is.


This list is non - exhaustive. Other ideas and methods are welcome at the comments section.